It is the one month deadline.
One night during week one, after crying yet again, I decided I would give Argentina one month. After one month, if Argentina and I still didn't vibe, if there were no buenas ondas, I would go home; go home without regret.
It is the one month deadline.
Argentina and I aren't exactly old chums but at least we are finally on speaking terms (even if that speaking is broken castellano). And I see potential in this relationship. So I guess this is my way of deciding, buenas ondas or no, I'm staying.
And yet I am disappointed. It has been a month. a month. I thought by now Argentina and I would be on a hot and heavy passion-filled honeymoon not be in a still rocky getting-to-know- you period.
But I know our problems are my fault. I have not fully immersed myself in Argentina; I have not given myself to Buenos Aires. I have sampled a bit of all the city: the theater, Havanna, the feria in San Telmo, the pizza shop down the street, UBA, the museo de la ciudad, the random protests and of course the mall. But I have not gotten swept away by anything.
I have not found my niche in Buenos Aires.
In a city of 3 million people (13 million including the greater Buenos Aires area) people don't belong to the city; they belong to an aspect of the city. They are theater snobs, tango enthusiasts, boliche rockers. They belong to one part of Buenos to save themselves from getting lost in the maze of the city.
But I seem to still be getting lost daily (figuratively and literally). I can't seem to find my niche in this city filled with niches. Should I become a yoga master, or a rockster, or a teatro fan?
It is more than missing a niche, it is missing a belonging, missing that feeling of home or comfort. I'm searching for a niche because I don't have a home in Buenos Aires. I have been homeless for a month and am ready for a permanent settlement.
So I guess this all really means: book your plane ticket mom.
Refleciones en un espejo viejo
My Bible
The guia T and me on the colectivo
Train Grafitti
I really want to know someone's motive behind writing this
Dulce Eternidad
"Sweet Eternity"- i love graffiti
El Parque San Martin
This is the gorgeous park right by the program's office
Las Calles
The streets of BA on a cold rainy day
my room
it really is not as messy as it looks
1 comment:
How about becoming a mall rat - as your very own cozy little niche, I mean?!
But seriously: It sounds like you're doing fine, really - maybe you're just over-analyzing a little bit right now? (said the inventor of over-analyzing)
If that's any help: there's no way you can "immerse" yourself in a new place within just four weeks - I've lived in Madison for exactly one year, and only now do I start feeling a tiny little bit at home here (too bad I'm leaving three weeks from now), and I didn't even (really) have to deal with the language barrier problem that seems to be your major concern at the moment (and that will no doubt slowly fade away as you keep practicing). So: I guess the best thing for you to do would be to simply accept your status as the visitor and foreigner that you are for the time being, and not keep forcing yourself frantically to become one with the place. I've never been there myself, of course, but in my experience huge cities like Buenos Aires allow a considerable amount of space for those that don't exactly belong (or at least feel like they don't) to make themselves comfortable in...
Anyway: I booked my Brazil tickets today - I'll see you there two months from now, I guess?!
David
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