My feet hurt

My feet hurt and I love it. My feet feel like they have experienced Argentina. They throb and ache in a way that makes them feel alive. I feel like Argentina has finally touched me.

I have perfect circle bruise on my right foot where I stuck a peso coin for the bus home. But I didn't take the bus home. So the coin stayed there all night, until 6 in the morning, rubbing against the sole of my foot. The coin is a reminder of expecations. I expected to take the bus home and got a bruise. I didn't expect to be dancing in a dark, smoky techno filled basement until dawn but that is what I got.

I need to let go of my expectations here. My expectation that I will be fluent by the one-month deadline. My expectation that I will feel comfortable in a home that is so far from home. My expectation that Argentina and I will ever completely understand each other.

Because if i am always waiting for my expecations to be realized, I may miss the extraordinary experiences i wasn't expecting.

If I don't let go of my expecations I might come home one big bruise of disappointment.

P.S. This is the first birthday is years that I didn't cry. I always cry because i have these huge expecations that never materialize. But this year I just let Argentina take me. And it took me away from my tears, really touched me for the first time, and made me smile. really smile.