Stepping on Toes

I never was any good at following my dance partner. I always wanted to lead. And in the States that was usually acceptable. I could lead or if i wanted I could dance by myself.

But no one dances alone in Argentina. And girls never lead.

And it is driving me a little crazy.

It is the biggest of all the gigantic culture shocks i have experienced here. Men here are Aggressive- yes that is with a capital A. They like to control the conversation, the music, the dance, and, yes, even the kiss. I don't feel like a desired, interesting woman but a piece of prime cattle that needs to be branded and then herded to the desired location; a location I'm not sure i want to go to.

The method of branding is an arm around the shoulder to warn off poachers. The means of herding is an interesting combination of flattery and guilt that is can be strangely persuasive and of course annoying.

What is lacking is a genuine conversation; an exchange of thoughts that makes it possible to determine if two people are compatible. Instead there is a one way street of cheesy compliments after which neither party really knows anything about the other.

I always complained that guys in the states weren't aggressive enough. Maybe this is karma's way of having a good laugh.

Or maybe this is just how another culture deals with the complexity of relationships. From the amount of affection i see on the subte everyday, it looks like this method is working for them.

I guess I will just have to ignore the couples only signs and dance to my own rhythm.