Today i gave my castellano presentation on piropos and let me just say it didn't go over well.
First let me acknowledge that piropos have been the theme of probably one too many blog entries. For that matter, piropos have probably played too large of a role in my Argentine experience, they have consumed too much of my thoughts, too much of my time.
That said, i am going to dedicate one more entry to piropos and their cross-cultural effects.
My presentation discussed the difference between argentine and northamerican women's views on piropos. For the most part I discovered argentines and northamericans received the same amount of piropos and generally the same type- everything from linda (pretty) to puta (bitch). But the reactions and emotions associated with the piropos varies greatly depending on the woman.
Argetines like the "nice" piropos. They smile and say thank you and feel good about themselves and their bodies after they recieve a "nice" piropo. If they receive an ugly piropo they tend to feel embarrassed or ashamed. If they don't received any piropos they also start to feel bad about their appearance. Piropos make up part of argentine women's self esteem.
Northamericans hate piropos, all kinds of piropos from linda to puta. They never respond with a thank you or a smile but instead a mean glare and occasionally the finger. They don't feel embarrassed by piropos, they feel pissed. Most northamericans feel piropos are a violation of their bodies and there lives.
So there are the differences. The problem comes in the analysis of the differences, of what i consider a "problem." I stated that piropos are evidence of machismo in the culture. I thought this was a very acceptable widely know fact not an opinion to be discussed. After all it is men evaluating women's bodies and appearances and declaring them in a public space to keep women in a subordinate role. In what world is it not machista to yell puta at an unknown woman on the street?
However my teacher Gabriella was clearly in disagreement with me. First she declared machismo too complex of a term to define and then that piropos are an understood agreement between the sexes of argentina rather than a violation.
I was shocked.
I simply could not believe a woman would justify and defend piropos. Yes i understand that piropos are part of the culture, but that does not mean one has to agree with them. I am american yet i do not agree with the inequality in the education system or unilateral foreign policy. Without looking in one's culture and seeing the inequalities, cultures never develop to become just, or simply they never develop.
Which brings me to my next point: equality. Gabriella stated she was a woman and she was proud to be DIFFERENT from men. We said of course, no one is denying the DIFFERENCE between the sexes (although i might debate the origin of this difference since i believe it is societal and not natural). However DIFFERENT does not mean unequal. The sexes can be different and equal. But to me equal and equality is more than Gabriella's definition of equal opportunity in the work force. Equal is being treated with the same amount of respect at home, at work and in the streets. How can i be a partner in a law firm and then called puta on the street? (Yes carrie that is the second rhetorical question i used- argentine has officially ruined me!)
I am going to state something that i'm sure would piss off any argentine: Piropos are a problem. And yes piropos are part of the culture. And yes there is a problem with the culture. Excusing piropos as a "natural" part of culture does not actually justify them, it just ignores them.
Piropos are a problem because they keep half of argentine's population in a subordinate role, where they can not reach their full potential, where they can not contribute 100% to their society. Piropos are hurting Argentine's society- and not just 50% of it, all of it. All argentines are hurt because all argentines are denied an equal society.
We are told to not judge the culture we are living in; to observe and learn but not judge. And for the most part i have tried to understand the lack of punctuality, the endless talking, the lack of efficiency, and the seemingly self absorbed natures of Argentines. In all honestly i have gotten used to these things- i even laugh about them now.
Much i will never be used to or laugh about piropos because they are personal and are a violation. It is a judgment but it is too true for me in this moment to not state it; to not say clearly, throwing all cultural non-bias out the window, that piropos are wrong and i will always hate them.
2 comments:
Hi...
I am the "anonimous" reader who some time ago submitted a comment about your perception of "piropos". Then I said that your vision of "machismo" in Argentina, based only in your experience of piropos, was "a bit extreme". And I still think so. But I did not said that the "piropos" were not an expression of "machismo", in particular in their "rude" versions. In your discussion with your friend -are the piropos an expression or machismo?- I agree with you, although I think it is a quite "diluted" machismo and the consequences are not very serious.
José.
sadly my first gut reaction is to say "spoken like a man."
sad because to say this is just to reenforce the dicotomia of the genders, the illusion that separates men and women and allows men to say piropos and women to accept them.
however as a man (i am assuming you are a man- please correct me if i am wrong), you should not be so quick to judge the consequences of piropos as you have never directly felt the consequences.
It is easy for an unaffected person to "dilute" the signifigance of piropos, qualify them by saying the men that say them are just rude, their words are just that, meaningless words. But you have not been called a puta at 10 AM walking to school so please do not think you understand the consequences.
That said jose, thank you for your comment as it is always interesting to hear a different side of things even if that side is slighly "diluted" or "a bit extreme."
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