Wal-Mart scares me. I almost had I panic attack the last time I went in.
I just need a banana. I don’t want to go to a supermarket. I want to walk around the corner to a fruteria and pick it up for 10 cents.
I am craving the norms of what was my life in Buenos Aires.
And I am freaking out a bit. So I am staying under my down comforter until spring. Wake me up with the temperature breaks 50.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
26 Dec Change
Grandma was right. Life is all about change and learning to accept change. Life would be boring without change.
Still change always seems to creep on me. Maybe because it is young and my mind is not used to the speed at which our lives can become unrecognizable, maybe because thus far my life has remained relatively constant, change always reserved for some day in the future, a blurry idea not tangible to 22 year young girl.
But tonight as I drove through the lightly falling snow, I felt the world whirl around me like if was being fast forwarded while I sat silently watching from the car.
A few days ago I was melting in the heat of Buenos Aires, now I am freezing in the tundra of Green Bay. I few years ago I was sitting in Maggie’s basement trying to keep up on the LOR conversation, drinking Starbucks and generally talking stupid. Now I am still sitting in Maggie’s house but the conversation is made up of memories, silhouettes of ghosts hold the night together.
The night feels unreal. 6 old friends rewinding time for a few hours only to have to fast forwarded on the ride home. Because time can’t be stopped, or even paused. This change didn’t happen while I was in Argentina, it happened every second since high school graduation and will keep happening every second, pulling some of us closer and making others of us ghosts in the memories of who we were.
Still change always seems to creep on me. Maybe because it is young and my mind is not used to the speed at which our lives can become unrecognizable, maybe because thus far my life has remained relatively constant, change always reserved for some day in the future, a blurry idea not tangible to 22 year young girl.
But tonight as I drove through the lightly falling snow, I felt the world whirl around me like if was being fast forwarded while I sat silently watching from the car.
A few days ago I was melting in the heat of Buenos Aires, now I am freezing in the tundra of Green Bay. I few years ago I was sitting in Maggie’s basement trying to keep up on the LOR conversation, drinking Starbucks and generally talking stupid. Now I am still sitting in Maggie’s house but the conversation is made up of memories, silhouettes of ghosts hold the night together.
The night feels unreal. 6 old friends rewinding time for a few hours only to have to fast forwarded on the ride home. Because time can’t be stopped, or even paused. This change didn’t happen while I was in Argentina, it happened every second since high school graduation and will keep happening every second, pulling some of us closer and making others of us ghosts in the memories of who we were.
25 Dec No need to dream, when a white Christimas is right outside my window
While I made 5 pounds of Christmas cookies, Grandmas sat in a chair in the kitchen, sipped wine and gave me precious jewels of knowledge too big for any box and too beautiful for a bow.
“Nik, I am 66 years older than you…(thinking)…Well Nik I hope you have as much fun in the next 66 years as I have. I think the key is optimism. Pessimistic people turn into old crab.”
“Nik, I am 66 years older than you…(thinking)…Well Nik I hope you have as much fun in the next 66 years as I have. I think the key is optimism. Pessimistic people turn into old crab.”
23 Dec Long Days and Dashed Expectations
The trip could not have been smoother from Buenos Aires to Miami, Miami to O’hare.
In true Latin America style, we flowed from city to city, plane to plane, with now worries.
And then along with 300 other flights, our flights were cancelled and the abrupt stop of the ease slapped me across the face like the below freezing winds of Chicago.
After being delayed ever 10 minutes for 3 hours, I had boarded my plane only to be told it was cancelled minutes before take off. I wasn’t even angry, I was just crushed, deflated, defeated.
All I have wanted for the past two weeks is to be home for Christmas and all that stood between me and that dream was 3 hours by car and one hell of a winter storm.
I wanted to punch the airline worker singing Jingle Bell Rock.
But instead Mom and I got margaritas and chicken wings, checked into the Hilton across the street, to 12-hours of sleep and had my wonderful father come and pick us up in Chicago.
So now after 36 hours of travel, I home to a white Christmas.
After 6 months of travel, last days and long days and longer days I am finally home.
A miserably cold, snowy flat cow-invested place that I love and the perfect oplace for a welcome home Christmas.
In true Latin America style, we flowed from city to city, plane to plane, with now worries.
And then along with 300 other flights, our flights were cancelled and the abrupt stop of the ease slapped me across the face like the below freezing winds of Chicago.
After being delayed ever 10 minutes for 3 hours, I had boarded my plane only to be told it was cancelled minutes before take off. I wasn’t even angry, I was just crushed, deflated, defeated.
All I have wanted for the past two weeks is to be home for Christmas and all that stood between me and that dream was 3 hours by car and one hell of a winter storm.
I wanted to punch the airline worker singing Jingle Bell Rock.But instead Mom and I got margaritas and chicken wings, checked into the Hilton across the street, to 12-hours of sleep and had my wonderful father come and pick us up in Chicago.
So now after 36 hours of travel, I home to a white Christmas.
After 6 months of travel, last days and long days and longer days I am finally home.
A miserably cold, snowy flat cow-invested place that I love and the perfect oplace for a welcome home Christmas.
22 Dec Last Days and Great Expectations
I am Miss Havisham sitting in her old spider-invested mansion regretting the past and hoping for the greatness in the near future.
New Year’s Eve, birthdays and last days in foreign conuntires are always filled with great expectations, often so great there is no way reality can achieve such dreams.
But like life, greatness occurs between birthdays and New Year’s Eve, in between the first day and the last.
My last day may not live up it Pip’s dreams but sometimes a bottle of good white wine and a plate of pasta is even better.
New Year’s Eve, birthdays and last days in foreign conuntires are always filled with great expectations, often so great there is no way reality can achieve such dreams.
But like life, greatness occurs between birthdays and New Year’s Eve, in between the first day and the last.
My last day may not live up it Pip’s dreams but sometimes a bottle of good white wine and a plate of pasta is even better.
19 Dec Gilmore Girls
My mom and I are not the Gilmore girls. It took me a week and a half into the trip to realize that.
But who wants to be skinny, sarcastically brilliant best friend/mother-daughter when you can have Malbec in Mendoza. Yeah I choose my mom and wine over a perfect WB sitcom any day
12 Dec El Calafate
El Calafate is my favorite smell: spring, melting ice, fresh flowers, newness and clan.El Calafate is el opuesto de Buenos Aires. It is friendly, slow, and clean.
It makes me want to move to Alaska…well at least for a few months in summer.
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